BLACK IS BLACK, I WANT MY FACILITY BACK

LONDON – GROUND ZERO

I cross the park in Soho Square, go up to a black shiny door at number two and press the buzzer. It’s 1964 and I’ve just arrived from Australia.

Eventually the lock on the door clicks open and I walk down the hall to a small sliding window. I am inside the all-powerful ACTT union headquarters.

“Hello, my name is Stefan Sargent. I wrote to you from Sydney. I’d like to join the union.” The lady behind the window smiles. She tells me that the only way to join is to have a job – “but, of course, you can’t get a job without a union card.” The window slides closed.

A week later, I have an interview with the Chief Executive of ITN, Geoffrey Cox. He’s a New Zealander, I’m Australian. It helps. We watch a short film of mine. “Terrific! I’ll take you on. Make friends and you’ll get into the union. No worries.”

COLOUR ME BLACK

My first day at ITN, I’m in the cameraman’s room. “Who are you?” “I’m the new cameraman.” “Not bloody likely!”

He goes to the door and stops anyone else from entering. Bemused, I get up to go and talk to him. Now it’s his, and the other cameramen’s, turn to enter the room. I walk from the door back inside, they all get up and walk out.

I am declared black. No one will work with me. They won’t even talk to me. Until one day, sitting in the secretaries’ office, an ITN cameraman walks in.

DON’T GO DOWN IN THE TUBE TODAY

“Would you like to go on a shoot with us?” I gratefully accept. We go down into the depths of the work-in-progress Victoria line. It’s an underground building site with workers drilling into the rock. We walk into a new deserted tunnel. My colleagues have torches. Then without saying a word, they suddenly vanish. I’m alone in the dark. It’s pitch black. I grope my way back along the rough walls. I know it’s time to quit.

The ITN management makes some phone calls and a week later I’m employed at BBC Ealing Studios. I seek out the ACTT rep., “I’d like to join the union.” “Great, we need more members. There’s a meeting this weekend. Please join us.”

I’m in. No longer black, I am a card-carrying member of the ACTT.

MOLINARE SOUND STUDIOS

Now it’s 1975, I have four successful sound studios in Broadwick Street, Soho, called Molinare. We have a great staff and I’m free to continue as a filmmaker.

One of my clients is Redifon Flight Simulation. The pilot in the simulator cockpit sees the outside world from a television camera moving over a large model landscape. I decide the best way to capture it is to put blue card on the cockpit windows, give the pilot a small monitor and shoot on video. I need an OB truck and book Trilion. In their Soho machine room, we chromakey it all together. The video scene in the simulator windows is sharp and clear. My client is delighted. I’m now an expert in video production.

Redifon invests in Evans & Sutherland, a high tech computer graphics company in Salt Lake City, Utah. Following my Trilion example, E & S book an OB truck from Burbank based, Compact Video. The shoot is a disaster. Compact’s cameras cannot record the projected picture.

As the reigning expert, I am flown to Utah. I ask the simulator pilot to take half an hour to land the plane and run my modified Éclair film camera at 4 frames a second. My hope is that the six times longer exposure will capture the faint projected images.

While the 16mm film is being processed in New York, I visit Compact in Burbank.

SMALL AND PERFECTLY FORMED

Compact Video is a revelation.

While Trilion in London is using giant, three lens cameras, Compact has lightweight shoulder mounted Norelco PCP-90s – not much heavier than my own 16mm Éclair.

While Trilion has tank sized 2” quad recorders in their OB truck, Compact has small battery powered Ampex VR-3000s.

And while Trilion’s editing facility is just two engineers in a machine room, Compact’s edit suite is Californian redwood walls, Eames chairs, and plush leather seating. The sliding doors on the left conceal the noise of their 2” quad machines. The sliding doors on the right, lead to a restaurant kitchen.

I return to London determined to build a Compact Video look-alike in Soho and immediately start looking for premises.

My wife, Tricia, tells me she’s found an empty building in Foubert’s Place that would make an ideal audio video complex. There’s no FOR SALE sign but we track down the Peachey Property Company. Peachey quotes £2 a sq. ft. for the school building but says if we take the adjacent building as well, they’ll drop the rent to £1 and lock into that rate in for five years. We take it all at just £1 a sq. ft..

SETEMBER 21, 1976

By chance, in Upper Regent Street, I see a sign, INTERNATIONAL BROADCASTING CONVENTION. I go down the stairs. The first exhibit is Ampex. On display is their new video recorder, the 1” VPR-1A.

It’s a friendly 1” tape recorder that is totally unlike the big 2” machines. Stop the tape – there’s a freeze frame – hand-turn the reel – watch one frame after the other. It’s just like editing film. I spend an hour playing. I’m in love. On impulse, I order three £40,000 machines from salesman, Ron Atkinson.

That afternoon, I’m back at Molinare, 43 Broadwick Street. “Where’s Tricia?”

Late that night our daughter is born.

THE TECHNOLOGY REVOLUTION

At a stroke, Compact Video is out of date.  So are Trilion, The Moving Picture Company, TVi, Goldcrest, Keith Ewart and ITN Facilities. Their 2” quad recorders all obsolete;  1” helical tape is the way to go.

I phone Ron at Ampex. “What’s happening?” “Sorry, I don’t recognize your name. Stefan Sargent? Molinare? Oh yes, now, I remember …I thought you were joking. Three machines! You’re really serious!”

At the time, I have no idea that mine is Ampex’s only VPR-1A order.

Our builder, Alan Stewart, agrees to work on a “pay me when you can” basis. Little by little, we move our sound studios out of Broadwick Street to Foubert’s Place. I hire video engineers and video editors and, with great excitement, drive to Ampex in Reading to collect my machines.

BLACK IS BLACK

One day, an engineer from Trilion comes to see me. “Bad news, last night there was a meeting of shop stewards from the union approved facilities companies and Molinare has been declared black. The main reason is you are using new technology that hasn’t been approved by the ACTT.” He gives me the minutes of the meeting. ITV stations have been told not to play out any tape from Molinare. I’m shocked.

I contact Roy Lockett at ACTT HQ. “Sorry Stefan, you’ve lucked out. Your 1” technology is black. Make what you like, the ITV stations won’t play it.”

Tricia, had graduated from Sydney university with barrister Geoffrey Robertson. Geoffrey made a name for himself in the 1971 Oz obscenity trial. He thinks we should have a left wing solicitor to represent us and suggests David Offenbach. It is a good choice. David is sympathetic to trade unions and knows labour laws.

I show David the letter to ITV stations declaring Molinare black. He feels we have a legitimate case of restrictive trade practices and we both go off to see Alan Sapper, General Secretary of the ACTT.

RIGHT BACK WHERE WE STARTED FROM

So here we are again at 2 Soho Square’s black shiny door, except it’s 13 years later. The meeting is cordial with Sapper telling me that I should have consulted the union before daring to buy “new technology”. I explain that if can’t use my video facilities, Molinare will probably go bust and that I have no option but to sue the union.

The mood turns icy. “Nobody but nobody sues a union, especially this one. If you do this Stefan – I promise you that you’ll never work in this industry again.” “Are you threatening my client?” says David. “No, Mr. Offenbach – it’s a promise.”

NOW IT’S WAR

In a way, Alan Sapper is right. No one can sue a union. The Wilson/ Callaghan government has seen to that. David says they are acting like feudal barons and we can sue the ACTT executives. He asks for names and addresses and is told to get lost.

David obtains a court order forcing the ACTT to send us the names and home addresses of their executives. Someone at 2 Soho Square mistakenly thinks the court order is requesting a full document disclosure. The next day, delivered by courier to David’s Bond Street office, there arrives a large file with all ACTT/ Molinare correspondence. It’s a gold mine.

LETTERS FROM SOHO SQUARE

The gem is a letter from the union to the management of competitive facilities companies asking them if Molinare were permitted to use 1” tape and new technology, would they lose business? There are replies from my competitors saying keep Molinare black.

David Offenbach, a sincere, idealistic socialist, is horrified. “Trade unions are there to protect worker’s rights – and here they are writing to top management. It’s like the Mafia consulting the Feds.”

Geoffrey Robertson agrees; the ACTT has blown it.

Outside the Royal Courts of Justice on The Strand, Sapper comes up to me. “Are you sure you want to do this? There’s still time to back out.”

SHOWTIME

Inside the Law Courts, the barristers stand and make their cases. Then a surprise, the ACTT’s barrister is called over by Sapper. He returns and tells the judge that the ACTT will meet all Molinare demands. The new technology is approved for use at Molinare. All Moli staff can join the union – remember this is in the days of the closed shop, there will be no backlash, no reprisals; in short – a walkover victory.

Outside, braving the traffic noise, Alan Sapper greets me like an old friend. “We never thought you’d have the nerve to go all the way. We’re good losers. No hard feelings …” I force a smile and shake hands. “So I can still work in the business?”

A PICNIC IN THE PARK

Tricia makes a picnic and we eat in the park, on the grass, outside 2 Soho Square. We toast the shiny black door. Bliss …

Returning to Molinare, our receptionist hands me a box. Inside is a large chocolate cake with a handwritten note: “From Kerry, Jane, Max and the folks at LWT. Congratulations. Well done.”

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CH CH CH CH CHANGES

TURN AND FACE THE STRAIn

I make a little film—no, I mean video – for Mary. She comes here, sees it once and loves it.

“Put it on our YouTube channel and make me a couple of DVDs.”

Six Kodak Carousel projectors controlled by either Electrosonic or AVL boxes

“Want to see it again?”

“No, it’s perfect. Send me the invoice.”

A week later, via e-mail: “Stefan, we all love it but the general feeling is we should add a title at the start. Ken has written some words….”

How come last week it was perfect and now it needs a title?

“Mary, while making changes in video is easy, YouTube will not let you insert shots into an existing video. I’ll have to replace it with a new video. Oh, and shall I scrap the two DVDs?”

“Sorry Stefan, I thought you could just add a title.”

How I hate changes, and who’s this guy Ken? I find his web site. OMG, he’s a multimedia consultant. Spare me!

Days of Wine and Roses

It wasn’t always like this. In the good old days of film—yes, I mean film—when finished and client-approved, the whole lot went off to the lab.

The ice froze over and changes were nigh impossible. Yeah!

If changes were really necessary, it became a BIG DEAL, with a new quote and a week of expensive lab work.

Those were the days my friend, those were the days.

The Beginning of the End

In 1980, I build the Moliplexer. It has six projectors with a choice of dissolve modules, a TEAC 4-track 1/4-inch and a Philips LDK33 camera. Using all six projectors, you can change slides at 5p. That’s five frames a second.

It’s a huge, booked-out success. In Molinare’s complex of television studios, edit suites and audio studios, the Moliplexer is the top money-spinner, the undisputed cash cow.

Little do I realize: it’s also the beginning of the end. Finally, clients can make instant changes. No need to wait for the lab.

There you go, Ken—pop in that extra slide. Oh, it’s a title at the start. In it goes. Ping! See if I care….

Jump Cuts Are Cool

And then there’s Wayne. No, that’s not his real name—but Wayne rhymes with Pain.

He phones me, tells me he’s fallen out with Neville, one of the interviewees in his video.

“Cut him out. It’s easy.”

He phones again. “You know the guy who died last year, Oswald, we’ve still got his interview. When you take out Neville, replace him with the dead guy.”

“But he’s dead.”

“I have a signed release. Dedicate the DVD to him.”

It isn’t easy. Neville is all the way through and Oswald is saying different things. Wayne comes over to see the result.

The legendary Jean-Luc Godard, inventor of the jump cut (so says Wayne)

“No, no. You’ve still got her (another interviewee) talking about Neville—cut it out.

“The whole interview?”

“No, only his name.”

“Just his name? It will jump.”

“Don’t tell me. It’s called a jump cut, invented by Jean-Luc Godard. Jump cuts are cool. Godard won a prize for it. Just do it.”

I do it. In the video, she’s about to say the forbidden name and … the picture jumps.

“Wayne, it looks as though I’ve cut his name out.”

“Good. I want the bastard to see it and know he’s been chopped out. Thank you, Jean-Luc.”

Clients! What would we do without them? Hmmm … not a bad idea.

So goodbye Mary, goodbye Wayne /

Will we ever meet again?

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Stefan’s Giveaway:

A Tale of Two Cameras

Published On: 03/19/13 03:03:38 PM
By:

Stefan Sargent

Remember last month’s Production Diary? I wrote that I put my two Sony HVR-V1U camcorders on eBay. What a fiasco!

AaarrrggghhhBAY

Gee, I was only trying to sell a camera.

Winner of camera #1 complains that it is broken; the cassette mechanism is jammed open. Would I sell a broken camera? Of course not.

I pay for the UPS return and refund his money. And guess what? It really IS broken. Hmmm… No choice but to send it away to be repaired. Two lots of UPS shipping charges plus a $550 repair bill. Can it get worse? You bet…

Worse and Worser
The winner of camera #2 thought he could buy now—pay later. No dice. Then he asks his mum. Nope, she won’t lend him money either.

I click an eBay button saying something like “buyer didn’t pay” and he goes BALLISTIC. His e-mails are in CAPITALS accusing me of VENGANCE and THREATING (his spelling, not mine).

From Hate to Halo
Fate steps in. An e-mail from Peter Meyers, my first U.S. client, from ’99.

“Stef.”—He always calls me Stef. I hate it.—“Stef., Lucas wants a video camera—tell me what to buy him.”

Lucas is 12 and as smart as a tack. In ’99, he simply didn’t exist. Weird.
“Oh Peter, have I got a camera for Lucas!”

Future movie director with his Sony HVR-V1U camera

I wait until Peter’s Christmas party. Lucas can’t believe his eyes. He’s so happy.

We sit on the floor and I do a quick run-through of the camera. Here’s the auto/manual switch. Use the ND filter for exterior shooting. You can drop the shutter speed in low-light conditions. All meaningless mumbo jumbo, he’s just too excited to listen.

“Thank you! Thank you.”

He’s thrilled—so am I.

Final Cut Pro X
It’s a month since Lucas received his camera. I’ll swing around this Saturday.

“How’s it going?” “The camera doesn’t appear on the desktop, I can’t drag and drop.”

I’m about to explain that he has to use Apple FCP X, but he already knows. In fact, he’s shot and edited a dramatic short complete with actors. The timeline has added gunshot flashes and sound effects.

“Should I use library music or compose my own?”

My Giveaway to You
I still have that other camera. It came back from the repairers looking like new, with a six-month guarantee.

The Sony V1U comes in this nifty case—with all accessories, battery, charger, tape stock and owner manual.

Will it be you? I’m looking for another Herzog, Rodriguez or Tarantino. When fame and fortune eventually strikes, just say you owe it all to me.
How to Win

Simply e-mail Cristina, our beloved editor, a few lines about why you should win my camera and what you want to do with it. No more than 250 words. The e-mail subject line must be GIVEAWAY. Entries to be in by May 1, 2013. The winner will be announced in the July 2013 issue. Here’s the e-mail address: cclapp@nbmedia.com.

Not So Fine Print
Your name and the winning e-mail will be published. I want to see some amazing videos from you on YouTube.

Dare to sell the camera on aarrgghhBay: you will have your subscription to Digital Video magazine canceled, a horse’s head placed on your pillow, and the bad fairies will come and get you.

Now write that winning e-mail. Good luck

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And Then It’s Spring

TOYS FOR BOYS

Spring Cleaning
It’s March and I’m throwing everything out. Portable DVD player. Who needs it? Not me. Out damned DVD player!

Goodbye DIY polecam, sad to see you go. Hello DJI Phantom Quadcopter, how high can you fly?

My two Sony V1U cameras … out, out! I bought them in 2006. Six years of faithful service, paid for themselves a thousand times over. Tough. Goodbye, been nice to know ya.

I put them on eBay. After weeks of e-mails and no money, I decide to give them away.

Hanging from A Sky Hook
A real helicopter doesn’t like to hover, but this one does. I just love my DJI Phantom GoPro Aerial Quadcopterfrom DSLRPros. Take your fingers off the controls and it just stays up there, hanging in space. It’s uncanny. People stop and stare.

The video is almost vibration free and there’s very little rolling shutter “jello,” even with GoPro HERO3 set at 2.7K 30 fps Protune.
I’ve just ordered another three batteries from DSLRPros, only $27 each. With my original battery, I can now fly for 50 minutes. Wheeee…
It’s replaced my huge homemade polecam. I’m sad to see it go, but my new ’copter takes a fraction of the time to set up and makes better movies.

Aviator Travel Jib

Sony NEX-6 camera, Gitzo 2180 pan head, Manfrotto 394 quick release, Aviator Travel Jib

Next up, a carbon fiber tripod from 3 Legged Thing coupled with the Kickstarter-funded Aviator Travel Jibfrom Nice Industries. It’s perfect for close range up-and-over shots. Swinging the arm beats all those wimpy slider moves—the current rage on YouTube. “Look at me, I’ve got a slider.”
To speed up things up, I’ve become addicted to quick release plates. I have a Manfrotto 394 on the tripod, one on my new Gitzo G2180 pan and tilt head and another on the Aviator jib. If I want to use the tripod with just the pan head? Click, that’s it. Want a jib shot? Unclip pan head, clip jib to tripod, click Gitzo pan head to the end of the jib.

The jib is designed for DSLR cameras like the ubiquitous Canon EOS 5D Mk II. I’ve finally made the move and bought a couple of Sony NEX-6 mirrorless interchangeable lens cameras. For video, they are much better than the Canon. The sensor is APS-C size (23.5mm x 15.6mm)—close to Super 35mm film (24.89mm x 18.66mm). For interviews, I use the Sony 50mm f/1.8, which at 6’ gives a nice feature-film-like soft bokeh.

3D Heaven
I sold all my HERO2s on eBay—that went smoothly. I now have five new HERO3 Black Editions.

K-Tek Norbert Sport Junior frame, GoPro HERO3 Black with 5.4mm 85° lens, Manfrotto 323 quick release

For shooting 3D stereoscopic, two of my babies, configured with conventional 170° lenses and LCD Touch BacPac monitors, are mounted on a K-Tek Norbert Sport Junior frame with Manfrotto 323 RC quick release plates.

I’ve an identical rig but with 5.4mm 85° lenses from Dennis at Ragecams.com. The new 5.4mm, while pricey at $279, is amazingly sharp, far better than GoPro’s “medium” setting.

For My Next Act …
I’ve ordered a Blackmagic Teranex 3D Processor. If it’s as good as its brochure, it will line up my 3D HERO3 movies and make them look like Avatar.

“The 3D camera align feature of the Teranex 3D Processor lets you frame sync even unlocked left- and right-eye signals and fix geometry errors in the camera rig. You can even correct the alignment of two consumer cameras for incredible 3D images!”

Well, that’s the theory. Stay tuned.

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MY EYE IN THE SKY

The Ultimate, Infinite Jib Is Mine, Mine, Mine

This isn’t the Production Diary that I’d planned. To be honest, I’d written 650 words saying that in 19-something, I screwed up and then cleverly saved the day. You know, the usual boring stuff.

And then I fell in love! Here’s what happened:

Love at First Flight
Way back in 2012 I sold all my cameras and tripods and, with the hypothetical profit, ordered a Digital Bolex and a carbon fiber Aviator Travel jib, both Kickstarter projects. Now it’s 2013, where are they?

I go to the Aviator Jib web site hoping to see, “Hi Stefan, your jib is ready.” Nope, another disappointment—but there on the right-hand column is a postage stamp advertisement from DSLRPros. It’s for a GoPro ’copter. Wow!

I click the ad and jump to DSLRPros’ DJI Phantom GoPro Aerial Rig page and there is the most amazing video of a GoPro flying over a city street. I watch in awe. Not since the out-of-the-window shot in I Am Cuba have I seen anything so amazing.

OMG. I am in love. I plunk down my $679.

“Honey, I’ve just bought a helicopter!”

“That’s nice.”

“Don’t you want to know how much it is?”

“No—you’ve always wanted one. Is it for the GoPro?”

Smart kid. At a scant 2.6 ounces, the featherweight GoPro HERO3 changes everything.

I Need A Helicopter of My Own
Every corporate documentary I’ve made over the last 10 years could have done with an aerial shot. The Mt. Poso regeneration plant sure needed one—but the budget wasn’t there.

For my pinot documentary I hired Derek and his large RC helicopter.

For my own pinot documentary, I hired a great RC ’copter team. They came with two conventional model RC choppers, large enough to lift a 4 lb. Sony HVR-V1U. By the end of two and a half days I had some terrific shots and a $4,500 bill.

I Wait for FedEx
Tension mounts. At 10:29 FedEx delivers my loved one.

This is what my package would have looked like if I hadn’t opened it upside down.

DJI’s top man in the USA, Colin Guinn, has made some YouTube training videos. How to assemble the Phantom: “The counter-clockwise propeller goes on the motor marked counter-clockwise. The clockwise propeller goes …” I can do that—I’ll just give it to Tricia.

Now the hard stuff: “Switch on the joystick controller, then connect the battery to the Phantom. Stay in the GPS mode while the ’copter learns where it is. If for any reason you lose control of the Phantom, it will fly back and land at the start point.”

That’s amazing. I watch all of Colin’s videos before I dare to fly my baby.

How to Get A Smooth Video
The thing missing in Colin’s videos is any aerial footage.

Colin Guinn, CEO-DJI North America, demos a takeoff on YouTube

I phone him for a chat. He says, “Shoot at 2.7K and use After Effects Warp Stabilizer.”

“But if I use 2.7K, I’ll lose the GoPro Wi-Fi preview on record.”

“You’ll find that the four-second Wi-Fi delay is unnerving—and besides, it’s impossible to watch both the ’copter and your iPhone. Oh, put some foam or rubber between the GoPro sling and the ’copter body.”

I hunt around. Tricia has the perfect solution: a slice from her rubberized yoga mat.

Lift Off

My first flight. I’m on our deck. I should be in a park. The ’copter is too close. Don’t try this at home.

I’m psyched up and ready. I’ve told the Phantom where it is in the GPS world. I flip both keys down and to the right. The four motors start. I push up the throttle. The engines speed up, the craft starts to shake—push the stick up—we have liftoff. My very own GoPro quadcopter is flying.

YEAH! FAN-BLOODY-TASTIC!

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DOING A ROLF: Nice Work If You Can Get It

Yes friends, that’s me. I’m asleep and getting paid for it. I’m outside on our deck doing a Rolf. That’s me, doing a Rolf

My client knows FinalCut Pro and I’ve left him to it. He works, I sleep. Clients love it when they are allowed to operate the camera or do some simple in-out editing.

From time to time he phones. “Hi Rolf, sorry to wake you but I need …”

Groan, what a pest he is. I pull myself together and go down into the editing room.

Who’s Rolf?

ROLF HARRIS
Rolf Harris is a TV presenter, painter, singer and dancer. On camera a highly charged live wire, but turn the camera off and Rolf finds a chair, sofa, park bench, covers his face with a hat or newspaper and dozes off. Instantly. Zzzzzzz.

“Rolf, ready for the next shot.”

“And look at this little beauty, add a little bit of light, a little bit of shade.”

“Terrific, Rolf. Give us a minute to reposition the camera.”

Zzzzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzz.

“Rolf, next shot…”

“A little blue here, a dash of red—can you tell what it is yet?”

Zzzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzz.

ROLF ON LOCATION
I’m filming Rolf in Hill End, a now deserted gold mining town a few hundred miles northwest of Sydney. I never have to worry about where the star is. He’s in the back of the car, asleep. Zzzzzzz.

Shoot over, I drive him to a small country railway station. He needs to be in Sydney tonight for his show at the Sheraton.

I buy his train ticket. Where’s Rolf? Could he be that tramp flat out on the bench covered in newspapers? Yep, that’s him. Zzzzzzz.

NEIL SEDAKA
On the deck, dozing off, I remember Neil Sedaka—the very opposite of Rolf.

Way back in ’73, I have an office in Stratford Place, just off Oxford Street, London. Polygram is directly opposite and one day they wander into my office and say that Sedaka is in town. They’d like me to film him playing a new song.

We cross the road and there he is. For the younger readers, Neil Sedaka was huge in the ’70s with eight U.S. Top Ten hits. Heck, even my spellcheck knows Sedaka.

I set up my lights and camera and off we go—or don’t go. The piano is out of tune. Neil is apologetic, says it’s just not good enough. Mr. Polygram thinks he can find a piano tuner. It’s Sunday, it’s raining… He disappears and Tricia and I are left with the great man who proceeds to do a Sedaka.

DOING A SEDAKA
“Give me a song—but not ‘Oh Carol.’”

“I really like ‘Laughter in the Rain.’”

“Good choice—you’ll just have to live with an out-of-tune piano.”

He plays and sings.

We are getting a one-on-one concert.

“Another.”

“’Breaking Up Is Hard To Do.’”

He plays and sings.

“You know you don’t have to entertain us.”

“It’s what I do best. Here’s a piano piece I wrote—no name, not sure what to do with it.”

He plays—no singing.

“Name a song—not one of mine.”

Tricia comes up with “La Mer.”

“Charles Trenet—in French. I know the melody but not the lyrics.”

“La mer—Qu’on voit danser le long des golfes clairs,” says Tricia.

“French—gee, that’s tough. We’re having fun…”

Just then, Mr. Polygram arrives with the piano tuner. The fun stops—back to work.

Still, it’s nice work if you can get it.

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PHILIPPA WETS HER PANTS

AND OTHER SCARY STORIES

I Turn Down A Job

“Sorry, John, no can do—I’m too scared.”

Sutro Tower
The job? Filming the San Francisco Sutro Tower. It’s about the same height as the Eiffel Tower, but while the Eiffel is on ground level, the Sutro is perched on top of the city’s highest peak.

Acrophobics Anonymous
I want to join. But it doesn’t exist. Instead, I turn to my cameraman/producer son-in-law.

“George, have you been up?” George is so macho. “Sutro Tower? Many times.”

“Were you scared?” “Me, never but one time I went up with cub reporter, Philippa. You’ve seen the tiny elevator—it fits two people squashed together.”

No Room at the Top
“Going up, you’re leaning to the left—then at about three quarters up the legs flare out and the elevator tilts the other way. Philippa freaks out.” “And?” “She wets herself. The good thing is, she forgets her fear of heights. We arrive at level six and get out. She looks for the restroom.”

“Which isn’t there.” “Right—no room at the top.”

George Is Scared
“George, you’re such an alpha male—aren’t you ever scared?”

“In Rwanda we had a guy following us with an AK-47.”

“Good guy or bad guy?” “Impossible to tell. He had one shoe on and the other off. Looked crazed out. Just kept following us. Hour after hour…”

“I was shit scared he’d start shooting. Followed us wherever we went. The sun set and he just vanished.”

Stefan Is Scared
I had the same thing in L.A. I’d bought my Avid, $75,000, then the sales guy says, “Plus 8.5 percent California sales tax, but since you’re not a resident, I’ll ship it tax-free to Nevada.”

At Las Vegas FedEx, I collect my Avid. Drive out and there’s an LAPD cop car right behind me. They sit there in my rear vision mirror. I stop at Barstow for a bite. They park next to me. Eat at the next table.

I leave. They leave. Hours pass. Driving through L.A. at night and all the time they’re one car behind.”

“Not the same thing at all. Why be scared of two harmless cops?”

George Wets His Pants
“George, what about the time you were shooting over the Bay and the helicopter’s motor stopped. Weren’t you scared?”

“No, it all happened too fast. We went into free fall. Hit the water. Splash. Went under and then bounced up—and yes, my pants got wet.”

Very scared—I’m falling off a speedboat—save the camera.

Stefan Gets Wet Too
“I’m in New Zealand shooting from the side of a speedboat. I’m balancing my Éclair camera on my shoulder. I’m scared. We hit a wave. As I go over, I throw the camera to Rosemary.”

“Sorry, Stefan, my scary stories are way better than yours.”

He’s right—I need bigger and better scares. Maybe I’ll go up the tower.

SUTRO TOWER IS CLOSED TO THE PUBLIC, ACROPHOBICS AND CUB REPORTERS.

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VOTE FOR ME: I’m Tired of Working for My Dad

Sydney, Australia, December 1963

TCN Channel 9 has given me a rent-free garage. It’s basic and incredibly hot, but I don’t care as I’m off to London next month.

Grafton—famous for its jacaranda trees

“Hey, Stefan, this guy just phoned. He’s seen your films on Bandstand—can you make some political commercials? He’s in Grafton, wants to get into Parliament.”

“Grafton? Where’s Grafton?”

“Up north, the Jacaranda Festival and all that…”

Grafton, N.S.W., A Week Later
I’m met at the airport by Bill Manyweathers. I wasn’t hard to recognize as I have a tripod over my shoulder and I’m carrying a Bolex 16mm camera with Nomad recorder.

I’ve been using the Bolex/Nomad combo for the last two years. For a measly $585 my spring-driven Bolex can record sync sound. Well that’s the theory—but in practice, coupling the two with a flexible cable and depending on the Bolex spring is hopeless. I have a DC motor and a 9 volt battery.

The Briefing
“Bill, why do you want to get elected?”

“I’ve been working in my dad’s furniture business since I left school. I’m tired of working for my dad. The local TV station has made a donation to my campaign. I’m using that to buy five commercials a night.”

“Is that legal?”

First Location
Bill is in front of a banana plantation. “Hello, I’m Bill Manyweathers. I support the banana growers…”

1960 press advertisement for the Magnasync Nomad—no, that’s not me

“Can you say some more?”

“Vote for me…”

“Bill, I think we need a policy, a reason to support them.”

“Gee, that’s tough. Bad weather is a problem. Let’s go and find a grower, see what he wants.”

We find the plantation owner. He tells us that flood mitigation is important.

Next Location
We’re down inside a concrete water channel. “Hello, I’m Bill Manyweathers. I support flood mitigation…”

“Can you say more?”

“Flood mitigation is important. Vote for me… I’m sorry, Stefan. This isn’t working.

“You must have made speeches before.”

“Of course; I’m on the local council—it’s just not the same as standing in the middle of concrete drain talking to a camera.”

Set My Bolex Free
Back at his house, I uncouple the Nomad recorder. Now the Bolex is a free-wheeling handheld camera. I shoot Bill, his wife and kids. We drive into town. Film him meeting people. We go to the local sugar refinery. Visit the stockyards.

I record voiceover on the Nomad. We talk about his career, his war service, his local community involvement.

The Deal
“Stefan, I don’t think you’re going to find anything worthwhile.”

That’s me in 1963 shooting a pop video with my Bolex and Magnasync Nomad recorder.

“Not true. There’s some great voiceover there and I can top and tail it with your opening and closing one-liners. You’ll get in, I’m sure of it.”

“I’m happy to pay you but I think I’ve wasted my money.”

“Here’s the deal. If you don’t get in, no charge from me—you get in, then pay me double.”

We shake on it.

Win—Win
Feb. 29, 1964, and he’s elected. I’m in freezing cold London with a brand new Olivetti Lettera 32 typewriter. I type out the invoice; yep, double my quote. It’s win—win; he’s happy—so am I.

Bill is in politics for the next 14 years and all because of me. I question my 1963 ethics as I had no idea what he supported—but then again, he didn’t either.

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NUDE WITH CAMERA

YESTERDAY WHEN I WAS YOUNG

It’s me and I’m naked! Preserved forever by the National Film & Sound Archive

July 2012, Laguna Beach, CA I’m locked away in a motel room trying to write a feature film screenplay. Fortunately it’s cold and wet outside – summer in Southern California isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. I have a book with me “How to Write a Movie in 21 Days” by Viki King.

Hey Viki, I’m going to do it in seven.

I come home on Monday – 97 page script “completed” in Final Draft.

NOW THE LOGLINE

Harder than writing the screenplay is the logline. The one sentence that sums it all up:

YESTERDAY WHEN I WAS YOUNG a true story from 1968 – a pop video film director commissioned to film aboriginals discovers more than expected – including himself.

1968: between The Summer of Love and Woodstock. A year of protest and change: the war in Vietnam; worldwide anti-war demonstrations; in Paris, a student revolution, Russia invades Czechoslovakia; millions starve in Biafra; Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King shot. And, for the first time ever, we see the earth from space.

Then there’s me and my own personal 1968 story; but why write it, 44 years later? OK, here’s the back-story.

A SURPRISE EMAIL

A couple of weeks ago, intermixed with Max Gentleman and Canadian Pharmacy e-mails, there’s one from Simon Smith, documentary curator of The National Film and Sound Archives in Australia – could they preserve my films in the National Collection?

Hi Simon, is this for real or a scam?

For real Stefan, I’ve never been to Nigeria. We’ve been tracking you for years. Do you have the masters for “The Australian Londoners” (1965)?

Simon, I have a 16mm print right under my desk. BTW do you have my “Edge of the Outback” (1967) and the “Change at Groote” (1968)?

Stefan, Change at Groote is fully held and preserved and the ABC has one 16mm copy of Edge of the Outback.

Great, Simon what about my Bandstand films, my Streets Ice cream commercials, my Vincent APC ads?

Stefan, I’ll see what I can dig out. Oh BTW we found these stills of you filming on Groote Eylandt.

My skinny-dipping sound recordist, Rosie, enjoying a waterfall with cameraman, Keith.

And then out of the past, attached to Simon’s next email are 44 year old photos of the shoot on Groote. Not staged production shots but real photos of Keith, Rosemary and me filming and enjoying ourselves. We’re on top of bulldozers, fooling around in our island house, skinny dippy under a tropical waterfall. And here’s Rosie on her birthday, March 10, 1968, with candles and cake. It sends me reeling. Yesterday, when I was …

On location, only a week before, Rosie had complained to me that Keith had touched her leg, “Please tell him to stop – say, I’m not interested.” And now in the humid heat of Groote Eylandt, there they are in the water, naked, hugging and kissing.

HEATHER MADE ME DO IT

Heather helps my Tricia with her linen business. I show her the photos; tell her my summer of ’68 story. Little do I know, she has a degree in screenwriting. The next day she comes in with a suitcase full of famous screenplays and books on how to write ‘em. “It’s a true story, you’ve got to write it! Do it.”

WHERE’S STEFAN?

“He’s away in Laguna Beach writing a screenplay. You said, ‘Do it’ and he did.”

There are so many songs in me that won’t be sung
I feel the bitter taste of tears upon my tongue
The time has come for me to pay for yesterday
When I was young.

Read it at http://www.yesterdaywheniwasyoung.us

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DEVICE AND CONQUER

JOIN THE REVOLUTION

London, April 1982.

Me in '82 - I'm the boss at Molinare

I’m CEO of Molinare. After months of planning, we launch Britain’s first satellite TV service, Satellite Television plc. A year later, 80% is sold to Rupert Murdoch for $1. Today, my fledgling is called BSkyB and has a market value of $18 billion.

How I missed out on both the $1 and the subsequent 18 big ones is another story – this story is about how, 30 years later, I cut the cable and ditched the dish.

OUR HOME THEATER
San Francisco, February 2005. I buy a video projector from Costco. I also buy a BestBuy 8 ft. pull-down screen. One night, on a whim, I tape some plain white paper to this $800 screen. Surprise! It’s brighter – eBay #1.

At a local blind company, we discover white blackout material. Our new 8 ft. roller blind screen costs $135.

At night, we pull the screen down, stretch out and watch DVDs and the Dish.
OUT DAMNED DISH
September 2010. Ninety nine dish channels and what do we watch? Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Rachel Maddows and a few others. Tricia and I agree: it has to go.

Also for Das Boot (director’s cut) is our home phone line. Who needs an antique phone with a wire? Not us chickens.

At a stroke, we save a whopping $140 a month!

WOO HOO ROKU

Using my hypothetical “saved” money, I launch into a spree of replacements gadgets.

The Losers – boxes, keyboards, remotes, etc. on their way to eBay

First: the Roku. A great toy but missing a trick here and there – like the USB, which won’t play movies from a portable drive – eBay #2.

I buy a WD TV Live. Now I can play HD feature films from disc. But TV Live? Sure it has Netflix, YouTube, Facebook – but where’s live television? Nowhere, that’s where – eBay #3.

I WANT THE WEB AND I WANT IT BAD
For this I need (well, I think I need) a Logitech Revue (Google TV). OMG, what a disaster! So hard to navigate… In a moment of sheer madness, I purchase the pro-keyboard. Insult added to injury- eBay #4 & #5.

OTA TELLY
How about real old-fashioned over-the-air television? I buy a Winegard RC-1010 digital receiver. It’s as bad as the Logitech Revue. No, it isn’t; it’s far worse – eBay #6.

SANITY RETURNS
September, 2012. Putting it mildly, this hasn’t been a success. The old projector has to go – eBay #7. I settle on a 3D Optoma HD33. It’s much brighter, has two HDMI inputs – $1,319 from Amazon.

My home theater 3D projector – an Optoma HD33

Now I have a 3D projector, naturally I need a new 3D Blu-ray player. The $119 LG BD670 is the perfect complement – old DVD, eBay #8.

BOXEE – SILLY NAME, STUPID SHAPE, AWFUL LOGO
The final link is a $179 Boxee box. I’ve resisted Boxee because of its loopy   appearance. But it’s brilliant: the Web done properly, a USB that plays my drives – plus a Live TV plug-in with an OTA antenna that works. Hello, ABC, CBS, Fox, NBC, PBS and all in HD. Quasimodo ugly but it flies.

The Winner – the Boxee Box with USB Live TV

IF IT’S MONDAY, IT’S BREAKING BAD
The $140 a month subscribers saw it yesterday. A season pass on Amazon is $2.84 an episode, that’s $11.36 a month.

Power up Boxee. Pull down the screen. Turn on the projector.  Lie down, feet up. Click, click. There’s Breaking Bad, commercial free.

The revolution has started. Odds are, you’ll join. Or is saving $100+ each and every month – unimportant?

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