THE CLIENT FROM HELL Mar ’10

Client: I’ve looped my mother into this… Stefan: Dear God, no more…

SAN RAFAEL, SEPTEMBER 2009. Hi, Tom. I’ve finished the video. I put it on my server, URL below. It’s just over six minutes and Tricia & I think it’s pretty good.

Hi, Tom. Me again. No reply to my last email. Have you seen your video? I’ve left messages on your answer phone. Are you away?

Hi, Tom. I’m getting worried. No reply from emails or answer phone messages. Are you OK?

Stefan, Sorry for the delay. I’ve been on the road. Only viewed once, looks good. Sent link to my board members for input and thoughts. Will get back to you ASAP.

OCTOBER 2009. Tom, I finished it a month ago. I need to know if you like it.

Stefan, We should meet. Can you come to Morgan Hill, Saturday?

MORGAN HILL. (after viewing it) Yes. It’s good. But there’s a boom mike in shot.

Tom, that’s not possible. We didn’t use a boom. You were there. No boom.

Can I see it again?

Sure. See, no boom mike.

I’ve looped my mother into this. She says it’s all shot in daylight.

I’m sorry, Tom, I’m not with you.

Well, it all kind of looks the same. Daylight. Nothing shot at sunset. No nighttime.

Is there anything that happens at sunset or at night?

No, nothing. It’s not me. My mother said it. It’s a valid comment.

Tom, you’re my client. What do YOU think?

Stefan, there’s something’s worrying me. I think I know what’s wrong.

Tell me, Tom.

It needs more commas.

More commas? I’m sorry I don’t understand…

Things are happening too fast. It needs breathing spaces. I never worked on a film before. Can you add commas?

I was trying to keep it to six minutes. More padding might slow it down. These days people have a short attention span. But if that’s what you want.

BACK HOME. Hi, Tom. I’ve re-edited your video. I added breaks here and there.

Looked once with a friend, looks awesome, just need to change the background music…will advise.

It’s the same music that you were happy with before we added more commas. I think you’d better do the trek from Morgan Hill and come here. I’ve hundreds of mood music disks and you can pick the music yourself.

NOVEMBER 2009. Hi, Tom. I’ve re-mixed the music and put the latest version up.

Stefan, we’d like to get some traction from the video as soon as possible and need to get it on our Web site, Stefan meet David with the agency, David meet Stefan the filmmaker.

Hi, David, you can download a QuickTime file from my server.

Thanks for reaching out to David. We are likely to segment the overall film somewhat to utilize supportive video segments with various text and static picture content on the current page design — five or six short videos of one or two minutes each. Generic video for home page, then product video on product page, then our staff, testimonials, and next year’s events. Good idea?

Hi, Tom. Good idea? No. I’m sorry, this video is going off the rails. I didn’t quote for six separate videos. You said the latest cut was “awesome” — let’s keep it that way.

Stefan, Take this matter up with David at the ad agency in charge of creatives with our Web site.

DECEMBER 2009. Tom. Sorry to chase you for money, but the final 50% is still unpaid.

Stefan, We have accounts payable pending scheduled to pay 12/30 with our bookkeeper.

JANUARY 2010. Dear Stefan, I hope your Holiday was enjoyable and relaxing. Now it’s time to look forward to the positive prospects of 2010 and I for one am charging forward with anticipation and ambition! This past year has been a real challenge for us all, and I know that you are just as dependent on timely payments as we are. I personally apologize as CEO that we have been late thus far in meeting our agreement for the remaining balance for the video. We are making daily efforts to collect from our customers so that we can in turn pay you what is due in the timeliest manner possible. Again, thank you for your patience.

Dear God, no more…

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